The Best Muslim – A Merciful Family

وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيۡهِ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهۡنًا عَلَىٰ وَهۡنٖ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ فِي عَامَيۡنِ أَنِ ٱشۡكُرۡ لِي وَلِوَٰلِدَيۡكَ إِلَيَّ ٱلۡمَصِيرُ
“We enjoined the human being to honour his parents. His mother bore him, and the load got heavier and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning. You shall be grateful of Me, and of your parents. To Me is the ultimate destiny” (31:14).

In the same verse, Allah tell us to be grateful to Him and to be grateful to our parents. Our family members, especially our parents are a source of blessings and so they should be very important to us. All of us have family, composed of different numbers and genders, given to us by Allah. Now it is difficult to maintain a good relationship every single day with our parents, siblings, and relatives. However, we must try our best. Due to the difficult nature of keeping good relationship with family members, the rewards huge. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family” [Ibn Majah].

So, by being kind, merciful and good to our family members, we automatically become amongst the best Muslims. We know sometimes our parents may do something that we may not like, but we should exemplify mercy and kindness towards them. Why? One of the main reasons is because you want to be amongst the best Muslims and enter Paradise. There are other benefits of being nice to family members. For example, your younger siblings will remember your kindness and do the same for the siblings that are younger than them and it will spread to other members of the family. If you treat your parents kindly, then one day when you grow up and have kids, your kids will treat you kindly. 

During the covid pandemic we all saw and felt the importance of family. At a time when we were distant from friends and places like the masjid, we were still around our family. It was your parents who stood in the long lines outside supermarkets, in the cold rainy weather, just so then there can be food in the house. They did the shopping even though all the supermarkets were crowded, and the prices of food went up. Why? Just so you didn’t have to worry about food and therefore focus on your education and religious duties. None of your friends made the sacrifice needed to keep your belly full during those hard weeks and months. So, the point is, there will be times when you might disagree with your parents but remember to show them your love and respect because they go the extra mile every time, whether you know it or you don’t. Same can also be said about siblings. We respect the elders in the family and show mercy to the young ones. By doing this, siblings will look out for each other and will have each other’s interest in mind. Once again, no doubt, there will be times when you will have grudges and strong disagreement, this is a norm when there are multiple siblings in one family. But we need to forgive and overlook each other’s mistakes and move on. Why? Because we want to be amongst the best Muslims and as mentioned before, The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family” [Ibn Majah].

And just a reminder to myself and you all, some of the greatest people on earth were tested with their family members. Prophet Ibrahim’s father was a non-Muslim; Prophet Lut’s wife was not a supporter of his cause; the brothers of Prophet Yusuf wanted to kill him and so on. So even the greatest of Prophets and Messengers went through this trial of having challenging family members. We should read how they interacted with their family members which they strongly disagreed with. 

May Allah bless us all with righteous families and help us to work towards being a better child and sibling.

There are various ways one is encouraged to interact with family members. One main advice is to make Du’a for our parents. 
وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرٗا

“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small" (17:24)

Regarding your siblings, make Dua for their forgiveness and that Allah has Mercy upon them.
 قَالَ رَبِّ ٱغۡفِرۡ لِي وَلِأَخِي وَأَدۡخِلۡنَا فِي رَحۡمَتِكَۖ وَأَنتَ أَرۡحَمُ ٱلرَّٰحِمِينَ

“[Musa AS] said, "My Lord, forgive me and my brother and admit us into Your mercy, for You are the Most Merciful of the merciful."” (7:151).

You can make other types of Dua, like Oh Allah help my brother or sister pass the exam. Help me brother or sister overcome the illness and so on. A dua does not have to be long but it must be sincere. So sincerely make Dua for your family and the Ummah at large.  

Another way we can interact is by physically doing favours for our family members. With your parents, help them with the shopping or tidying up the house. Go the extra mile and make tea for them. With your younger siblings, maybe help them with their work. If you have elder siblings, then just ask them if they need help with anything. Remember you are doing all of this just so then you can be amongst the best of Muslims. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family” [Ibn Majah].

There are many other actions we can do to increase our family bonds, such as giving Salam, sharing things, and just showing genuine respect. At the end of the day, what we do will be copied by those around us and would it not be amazing to have well-connected families and a united strong Ummah. 

In conclusion, we should do our best to remain connected and strengthen the bond between us, our parents, and our siblings. We should rise above conflicts and misunderstandings with the hope that we will earn Paradise because of pleasing Allah. 
May Allah bless us all with righteous families, make us role models for our siblings and give us the ability to be amongst the best Muslims.
Aameen